• greyscale of longhaired woman covering up mouth with hand and sweater
    Chronic Illness,  Spirit

    What Are You Afraid Of?

    It’s funny. I was the child always terrified of going to the doctor. I was the one who built up major anxiety over visiting the dentist or hospital for a checkup. Who would have thought I would one day have no choice but to overcome my fears. While I thought pregnancy had cleared me of most fear and humility, I was quickly proven wrong. Although both my epidural and blood patch had caused little pain, I was beyond terrified when it came to getting my first spinal tap. As symptoms progressed that summer of 2017, I knew the inevitable was coming, and no amount of mental prepping could relieve my…

  • streetlight at night
    Chronic Illness,  Intracranial Hypertension

    Sleepless Nights

    It’s 2 am, and the headache has already hit hard enough to wake me from my sleep. I feel it so sharp inside my temple that I swear if I could slice open my head, I would be able to remove the stone that is piercing my brain. I try to change positions to bring relief, only to commence the whooshing noises of blood rushing in my head. I am tormented by these angry waves roaring at me in this silent hour of night. I can’t take it anymore. I get up and am then hit with the pounding, pulsating pressure on my brain and eyes. If I give it…