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The Search for Healing
There is one thing that I never understood. If God has the power to heal me, why hasn’t He? God, you said that if I had faith so small as a mustard seed, I could move mountains. Surely, I have more faith than that! So why won’t you heal me? I can’t tell you how many times I pleaded with God to remove my sickness. How many times I begged Him to just take it all away, to at least let me find a medication that brought relief! So why wouldn’t He? When I first started developing Intracranial Hypertension, I was filled with nothing but anger and bitterness at what…
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In Sickness & In Health
Do you know the scenes in movies where the person is being rushed through the hospital, and their loved one arrives just in time to find them? This is the exact image of what I remember in between my neurologist visit and passing out in the wheelchair on the way to the ER. My husband was there right when I needed him most. I might have been half conscious from the pain, but I will never forget how much love and concern he showed me through those days in the hospital. His support in helping me breathe and cope with every increase of pressure was enough to make me think…
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Don’t Worry about Tomorrow
It was February of 2018 when I decided that I could no longer hold a job. I had to get my health under control. But I will be honest. I did not make this decision willingly. I loved my job. I had been there almost six years, and I had worked my way up to my dream position, complete with my own office. How could anyone expect me to just let go? My husband and I had been comfortable in our jobs. We had been renting an apartment for years. We finally had our first child. We were ready for the next big step of buying a house. I daydreamed…
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Calling In Sick
Let’s talk about work. What are you doing right now? Are you happy? Are you satisfied? Do you feel you’re doing what you were called to do in life? Could anything be different? July 2012 I remember the day I got hired for my job – a leasing agent for property management. I was walking on the levee when the phone call came in, and I became so excited that I started running. I was so thankful to finally have a real, full-time, decent paying job. I was considered fairly young for the job, but I made sure to prove myself till I had the respect of the owners themselves.…
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The Broken Body
Do you remember when your body broke? I do. Thursday, January 26, 2017. 9:30 am. It was the day I had my first child. It was the moment I had the epidural that went too far. Sure, that’s a common occurrence. Countless women experience it. The needle penetrates too far into the dura that surrounds the spinal cord and causes spinal fluid to leak out from around your brain. Excruciating headaches ensue. Sometimes the body heals itself before the new mother even notices. Other times, the skull crushing pain lingers for weeks or even months afterwards. The good news is doctors can fix this. All they have to do is…
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Three Lessons I Learned in My Trial
“Take it, Jesus. Just take it.” These had become common words in my vocabulary the winter that my sickness started to get out of control. I craved complete deliverance from disease, and I could not understand why God, the ultimate Healer, would not grant me that request. I knew He had all the power to remove my sickness in a heartbeat. I knew He could easily calm down the symptoms or even just let the medicine kick in, yet no matter how much I begged, He didn’t take away the pain. My sister, who had just been inspired by another woman’s testimony, suggested that instead of asking God to remove…
