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What I Learned in One Year
Well, it has officially been one year since the launch of Weather in April, and what an experience it has been! It truly is amazing how God works. In the beginning of my diagnosis, I felt like the last person on earth. Little did I know what world was really out there – a world of others who feel what I feel. See what I see. Experience the same life I do but only with a different lens. It is almost as though I have learned more in this past year than I have throughout this entire sickness. And I don’t think that would be the case had I not…
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Oh Be Careful Little Ears What You Hear
You can hear it almost anywhere you go. It relaxes you, invigorates you, and takes you back to the oldest of memories. It sets the mood to every minute you’re exposed to it. It is the sound of music filling the air. And while many share this common interest for a love of music, I can honestly say, I’ve always taken it two steps further. Music was rich in my family before I was even a thought. It was always played and always encouraged to be played. Upon entering my teenage years, it quickly became an obsession. My walls were plastered with posters and album covers. I could tell you…
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Depression
⊗ Trigger Warning: This following post contains sensitive material about depression and suicidal thoughts. Please proceed with caution. ⊗ Sometimes I feel brave enough to say it. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I feel empowered. I feel stronger. I feel a purpose. And then sometimes I feel nothing but shame. A woman once said not everything has to be shared. I had hoped this could be one of those things. But not everything that is needed to be said is easy to be said. This is that. It has been little over a year since I overcame the very lowest part of my life. But I’m not talking about depression alone.…
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What to Do When You Can’t Read the Bible
I get it. Reading the Bible is not an easy task. It can sound like Shakespeare, and the size is nothing but intimidating. So what are we supposed to do when God wants us to read it, but we simply cant figure out how? I would like to share with you a few tips that have helped me overcome the hurdle of consistently reading the Bible. And perhaps you too will see what God is capable of doing through you when you truly desire Him. It begins with praying for five things: 1.) Desire You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. –…
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What Are You Afraid Of?
It’s funny. I was the child always terrified of going to the doctor. I was the one who built up major anxiety over visiting the dentist or hospital for a checkup. Who would have thought I would one day have no choice but to overcome my fears. While I thought pregnancy had cleared me of most fear and humility, I was quickly proven wrong. Although both my epidural and blood patch had caused little pain, I was beyond terrified when it came to getting my first spinal tap. As symptoms progressed that summer of 2017, I knew the inevitable was coming, and no amount of mental prepping could relieve my…
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The Vision of the Sealed Book
I saw it all like words in a sealed book. It was delivered by men unto someone with one simple request: “Read this, please.” But the person responded, “I cannot, for it is sealed.” So the men delivered the book to someone who was illiterate with the same request, “Read this, please.” But this person responded, “I can’t. I don’t know how to read.” The prophet Isaiah wrote about this vision centuries before Jesus was even born. Perhaps you don’t understand. Why couldn’t the first person simply have unwrapped the book? Or maybe you’re wondering why the second person never learned to read at all. But what if this story…
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Claiming Thankfulness
Sickness did not sneak up on me. Sickness did not work its way into my life because of any bad health decisions I made. There was no family history waiting to show itself again. In fact, I was perfectly healthy for twenty five years, never a broken bone, rarely a visit to the doctor. My sickness had a cause. My sickness started the day my epidural went wrong. Science is still a mystery to most, and our bodies can do some fascinating things, but no one will ever convince me that my sickness just developed on its own. You don’t go from leaking spinal fluid from a faulty epidural to…
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Will the Bride Say “I Do”?
Long before the Israelites were trapped in the slavery of Egypt, God had a plan. Though centuries had gone by from the time He made His promise to Abraham, that didn’t make His plan any less perfect or efficient. He knew the timing, and He was ready to move. He was ready to break the chains of bondage and show the world who He was and what He could do. Wonders would be performed before the eyes of thousands of people. He had miracles saved up especially for this time that the world had never seen nor would ever see again. which neither your fathers nor your fathers’ fathers have…
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Not by Sight
Oddly enough, Intracranial Hypertension supposedly can’t kill you. But *spoiler alert* it can make you go blind. When spinal fluid pressure begins to build, there aren’t very many places it can go. This leaves it to push on anything it possibly can, including the optic nerves of your eyes. This type of trauma to the optic nerves causes them to swell, leading to a condition known as papilledema. If left untreated, your vision typically only worsens with the possibility of eventually (or even suddenly) going blind. But God told me I would never go blind. He will come and save you. Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened,…
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Faithfulness in the Fog
I remember the lingering distress of feeling trapped in a place of uncertainty. I remember the unending anxiety of not knowing how things would end or if they would ever end at all. I remember being forced to leave my job, a job I loved and had built a relationship with. I remember seeing my bank account dwindle to nothing despite everyone’s efforts to help. I remember wondering how we would make it, where would we go, what would we do. Yet through all of these moments, I remember God telling me to trust Him. Telling me not to worry or be anxious about anything. Not to fear. Not to…
