Faithfulness in the Fog

I remember the lingering distress of feeling trapped in a place of uncertainty. I remember the unending anxiety of not knowing how things would end or if they would ever end at all.

I remember being forced to leave my job, a job I loved and had built a relationship with. I remember seeing my bank account dwindle to nothing despite everyone’s efforts to help. I remember wondering how we would make it, where would we go, what would we do.

Yet through all of these moments, I remember God telling me to trust Him. Telling me not to worry or be anxious about anything. Not to fear. Not to doubt. Just trust His faithfulness.

And I must have repented a hundred times since then for giving into those feelings of uncertainty. My spirit was ready to take whatever leap of faith necessary, but my flesh was so weak.

So because my flesh would never learn how to fully trust God, I had to make sure I left no room for it.

Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, – Romans 13:14

When the thoughts of doubt and anxiety started to come, I had to push my flesh away. I had to replace those thoughts with what my spirit knew to be true. And that truth could only be found in the scriptures.

As the Israelites journeyed from Egypt to the promised land, God wanted to continually remind them of all He had done for them. He wanted them to save memories and throw feasts. He wanted them to have tangible, visible triggers to always keep that memory alive of the wonders He had done especially for them.

He knew that even though they firsthand witnessed the parting of the Red Sea and God’s cloud and fire leading their way, that one day their flesh would come through. He knew their spirit would need to be reminded of all God had done for them.

And though we no longer celebrate these feasts or have these items to remind us, we are still expected to remember His blessings and faithfulness. Why? Because whenever your flesh feels doubt, your spirit can look back and see the wonders God has performed in your life.

God didn’t stop His miracles with the Israelites.

His faithfulness continues through all generations. – Psalm 100:5

It had been my dream to stay home and raise my son. My flesh wanted to doubt the possibility and hold onto my job. But when God stepped in, He made that dream possible.

I thought it had been a curse that I had gotten sick. I thought I would rather die. But when God stepped in, He showed me just how much strength and endurance He could give me if I would just draw close to Him. He showed me that I could serve a greater purpose in life by helping others and sharing my testimony.

I thought my husband may never want to go back to church and that we would only continue to backslide. But God brought us back and made us stronger in our faith and marriage than ever before. In fact, He gave my husband a passion and fire to do far more than just attend church but to serve His kingdom in many ways.

I thought we would never get back on our feet again financially. I thought we would only fall further into debt with me having to go back to work in order to ever afford our own home again. But God opened the floodgates and blessed us more than we could have ever imagined.

Because we chose to trust God, I can now raise my son myself, work my dream job from home, and care for my health, all while making the same income I was making at my full time job!

Yes, I was uncertain about our future at one point. I feared the worst. But I knew that if I only trusted in God, He would bring the victory. And I choose to keep the memory of His faithfulness that if He did it once, He can do it again.

The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it. – 1 Thessalonians 5:24

Perhaps you’re in that moment of uncertainty now. I am here to promise you that it will end. This life is so short. These moments are mere seconds compared to the greater reward at the end. They aren’t worth worrying over. Trust in Him and know He will deliver you as He promised. Push your flesh away and let your spirit shine first, for the God who created the world that we worry over is the same God who is ready to show you great and mighty things that you have never known.