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The Tapestry of Healing
I spent approximately seven months trying to find a doctor who would believe something was wrong with me. It took ten more months for me to no longer be questioned by the medical community, and still over another year to convince the federal government that I was sick enough to be disabled. After almost three years of fighting for my health, I was finally free to rest, recover, and heal. Except I couldn’t. Not fully at least. You spend almost three years trying to convince the world that something is wrong and see how easy it is to stop. My mind had become used to a constant repeat, reciting my…
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What to Expect During Your First Spinal Tap
*** Disclaimers: The following information is based off of my own personal experience and research. I am not a medical professional. If you are experiencing a medical issue, please seek a medical professional first and foremost. Also note that each patient and doctor is different, and experiences can vary. Read full disclaimer page here. *** Expecting your first spinal tap? While the fear and concern can be understandable, we hope this post can shed some light on the subject and provide you with the answers to some of your questions. Our goal is to help make this whole experience much less terrifying. But before getting into the Q&A, let’s break…
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Count It All Joy
Earlier this month, I had my second brain surgery. I’ll save the details for another post, but overall it went very well. One might even go as far as to say it was successful – I haven’t had any high pressure symptoms since. The recovery process on the other hand was a different story. While on the surface, all is technically going well, there’s still so much more to recovery that never seems to be seen or heard. Take the post-surgery depression for example. In all honesty, I don’t even want to call it that because I know how much worse it could truly be. There is just no doubt…
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The Truth About Medical Trauma
⊗ Trigger Warning: The following post discusses Medical PTSD & Trauma. Please proceed with caution. “I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” – Anne Frank There are many reasons I write. Outside of it being my calling, writing can be incredibly therapeutic. Like seeing a therapist, it brings clarity to the situations in my life. Oftentimes, it can feel as if bees are swarming around in my mind. I can’t think straight, and speaking is almost completely out of the question. But writing allows for these “bees” to fly out one at a time and land on each page accordingly. It allows…
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By His Stripes, I Am Healed
To say it was a Sunday like any other would be a lie. In truth, I should have realized something was different early on. Though my husband made no comment to me, he didn’t even want to go to church that morning. Even I lacked the usual energy and excitement that I usually had in going to my place of freedom. The music didn’t reach me the same. I barely sang, and I could only manage a sway while everyone danced and clapped around me. I still had no idea of what was to come. Though my body was only a few feet from the alter, my mind was elsewhere.…
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Living with Intracranial Hypertension
Have you been battling Intracranial Hypertension and the life-altering symptoms it causes? Don’t fight it alone. Let us be there for you. Which topic has been eating away at your mind? Are you struggling in your marriage? Are you having trouble working yet can’t afford to stay home? Are you wondering how to function and communicate while staying in the hospital? Have you even fully accepted yet what happened to you? Pick a topic and read away. Know you are not alone in this battle and that there is a purpose behind your pain. We are here for you. Relationships Parenting Working A Day in the Life Coping with an…
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What is Intracranial Hypertension – Pseudotumor Cerebri?
(video below) Intracranial Hypertension is a rare neurological condition in which spinal fluid pressure increases around the brain and spinal cord, often times for no reason whatsoever. This condition also goes by the name pseudo-tumor cerebri, meaning “false brain tumor”, because the symptoms often mimic that of a brain tumor. Symptoms Include: Headache Fullness or pressure in head Nausea Vomiting Dizziness Balance Issues Back Pain Jaw Pain Neck stiffness & pain Whooshing noise in ears (Pulsatile Tinnitus) Auditory changes Ear Fullness Vision changes Pain when looking to the side Papilledema (swelling of the optic nerve) Vision loss What It Feels Like: Like thick caulk is filling up your head and…
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Eight Survival Tips for the Isolated, by the Isolated
I have to say, this time of quarantine has honestly not been so bad. Because for the most part, nothing for me has changed. February 2018, I became too sick to continue going to work. By March, I no longer even had a vehicle. It was just me and my baby home every day all day. And that’s how it’s been nearly every day for the past two years. Now given, I was often too sick to even get out of bed. And yes, many days I had someone there to help me. But it never changed the fact that we were always home and rarely venturing out. So when…
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Depression
⊗ Trigger Warning: This following post contains sensitive material about depression and suicidal thoughts. Please proceed with caution. ⊗ Sometimes I feel brave enough to say it. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I feel empowered. I feel stronger. I feel a purpose. And then sometimes I feel nothing but shame. A woman once said not everything has to be shared. I had hoped this could be one of those things. But not everything that is needed to be said is easy to be said. This is that. It has been little over a year since I overcame the very lowest part of my life. But I’m not talking about depression alone.…
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What Are You Afraid Of?
It’s funny. I was the child always terrified of going to the doctor. I was the one who built up major anxiety over visiting the dentist or hospital for a checkup. Who would have thought I would one day have no choice but to overcome my fears. While I thought pregnancy had cleared me of most fear and humility, I was quickly proven wrong. Although both my epidural and blood patch had caused little pain, I was beyond terrified when it came to getting my first spinal tap. As symptoms progressed that summer of 2017, I knew the inevitable was coming, and no amount of mental prepping could relieve my…
