The Five Lies of Disability – Breaking the Stigma

As if being physically impaired isn’t enough, there can be a lot of mental and emotional damage that tends to affect the sick as well.

As one who has lived on both sides of the spectrum of being perfectly healthy and chronically ill, I have experienced firsthand how these thoughts can take their toll.

You feel ashamed. Embarrassed. Humiliated. You don’t want to be seen as different. You don’t want to be viewed as fragile.

You feel guilty. You should be working. You shouldn’t be in bed all day. You should be taking care of your family, your home.

You feel doubt. What if no one believes me? What if everyone thinks I’m making it all up, that it’s all in my head?

But these thoughts are nothing more than lies. And today, I hope to expose those lies for the reality that they are. I hope to break the stigma that disability seems to bring both to the sufferer and the outside world – starting with these five:

1.) The Disabled are Weak

For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come. – 1 Timothy 4:8

Life is not all about having a strong body. It is about having a strong spirit. And the disabled have some of the strongest spirits we know.

In fact, the sick are some of the hardest fighters you will ever meet. Our bodies may be weak, but we have the determination of warriors. We’re not taking life for granted, and we’re not letting our bodies hold us back more than they have to.

We are the ones fighting for an answer. Fighting for a cure. Fighting to get our bodies to function better and better every day instead of letting it waste away.

Our bodies are not only working as hard as they can to keep up the pace of normal living, but they are working double-time in the background to keep our conditions under control.

No, the disabled are far from weak.

2.) The Disabled are Lazy

“What do you do all day?” How many of us have heard that question?

But what does anyone do on their day off? That’s what we do.

And what does anyone do all day when they’re home with the flu? With a broken back? With pneumonia? That’s also what we do.

If we are well, we make the most of it. Because we know what it’s like to be sick. And to be sick is to be bedridden or worse.

Do we have days where we relax all day? Yes! They’re called recovery days! We are constantly learning what our bodies can and cannot do, and sometimes we may have to pay for it later. So we rest.

Sometimes, our minds and bodies don’t agree, and we feel guilty about resting. We begin to believe we are being lazy. We try to push ourselves, and we end up worse off. Recovery days are not lazy days.

Yes, we get bored. Often. Especially if our driving has been limited or restricted.

But because we have learned how bad a day can be, we utilize the heck out of every good day. That might mean working ourselves to death catching up on cleaning and cooking. Or it might mean enjoying the day to the fullest out in the sunshine and fresh air for the first time in weeks.

Some of us even still manage to fit in some work!

But in no way are we taking advantage of our time any more than anyone else. 

3.) The Disabled are Freeloaders

Many of us get to the point of having to live with someone. Some of us have moved back in with our parents like we said we would never do again. We must be living the high life. Free rent, free food, no bills, no worries.

Riiiiight.

We all have this dream of success to make money, start a family, and have our dream home. So do you think it’s pleasant to live with someone else because our bodies wont allow us to hold a job?

Of course not! In no way does anyone want to have to make that decision.

In fact, it is awfully difficult to feel like a freeloader when you are too guilty and ashamed of having gone backwards in life.

But we do it because we have to!

Nobody plans on sticking around in someone else’s home for the rest of their lives. We want nothing but to be well enough to make it on our own again.

This was definitely not part of the plan, but it is a current necessity. It likely isn’t permanent, but we are beyond grateful for what is offered to us. Not everyone has this option, so don’t think we don’t have respect for even these cards we have been dealt.

4.) The Disabled are Fakes

Not all disabilities come with visibilities. Not all require a wheelchair or a brace or an assistance animal.

If a normal looking man parks in the handicapped spot, can you look at him and determine if his lungs are functioning at full capacity?

Can you tell from looking at someone if they suffer from seizures on a regular basis?

Unless you are told, how do you even know if someone is deaf?

Are any of these people faking it?

Then there is no reason to say that anyone else is.

There are more invisible, rare, and bizarre conditions out there than anyone can count. Medical science is still trying to understand and research the half of them. So if a team of fully educated specialists cannot even tell you the extent of someone’s condition, how can anyone else?

You don’t have to look sick to be sick. And pain cannot always be seen.

The sick know their bodies. They know what is normal and what is not. And there is no one else on this earth who can judge whether or not that is true.

5.) The Disabled Are Attention Seekers

Trust me, the last thing any of us want is attention.

When we’re sick, we don’t even want to think about how we’re feeling, much less have others hovering over us, reminding us of every painful, nauseating detail.

We’re not looking for pity, because pity is nothing more than imbedding another lie in our heads that we’re weak.

When we are at our worst, we want nothing more than to be invisible. But being invisible doesn’t get us the support that we may need. So if we’re reaching out for help, please know that we have made a huge decision to grow past our humility because our health is more important.

At the same time, please don’t confuse awareness for attention. We are not sharing our sickness with the world for our fame. We are sharing it with the sole hope that one day we wont have to deal with our sickness at all anymore.

So today, I hope we can all see disability from a different side of the curtain. I hope we can all learn to come to terms with the reality of disability and learn to accept the individual lives and purposes we have all been given.