What Must I Do?

Here I was again. It was Sunday; I was at church; and I knew good and well that I had been highly symptomatic as of late. Happy Groundhogs day to me, as this seems to be how half my posts begin.

Call it self-centered, but I was having trouble getting my mind off of the dizziness and vertigo that had recently escalated. I held onto the chair in front of me, always seeming to imagine the worst case scenario. After all, it had happened before.

The pastor interrupted worship to begin praying about specific situations or people that God had placed on his heart. Would he name my issue? Would I be asked to raise my hand or to go up to the front for prayer?

No, it wasn’t me this time.

Well, if it wasn’t the pastor being told I needed help, then was God speaking to anyone else? I looked around the room at everyone worshipping. Did God see my need?

I prayed, “God, is there a specific person that you want me to ask for prayer? Can I  just pray for me to avoid having to ask for help? Better yet, can You just make this one symptom go away, just this one thing to show me You want to heal me? Is there anything You want me to do to step into this healing? Am I being selfish? Do I need to pray for someone else first and put their healing before mine? God, what must I do to be healed?!”

My mind went to the Scriptures, “What must I do to be saved?”  Jesus was asked this question and gave such a simple answer. Why can’t I ask one similar and get the same results?

What must I do to be healed?

What Does My Healing Look Like?

Maybe you’ve read my posts. Maybe you haven’t. I know I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve written on this subject of healing, though I’m sure this post will suggest a list of recommendations at the end of it.

The point is, ultimately, I’m not healed – not fully, at least, and certainly not by man’s definition.

I guess I knew that when I signed up for this though. Pre-Weather in April, during the brainstorming days, I asked God, “How can I share my testimony when I’m still sick? How can I write my story when it has no end?”

God’s answer, “Write… I am the beginning and the end.”  (Revelations 21:5-6)

So is that where we’re at, God? Am I still in the middle?

What I Don’t Know

What must one do to be healed? I don’t know. Honestly, you might not have to do anything. Jesus already paid for your healing.

Then why on earth am I wasting your time with some sort of clickbait when I don’t have the answer?

Because God inspired me to write this. People need to know they are not alone. Christians need to know that other Christians battle the same thoughts and issues that they do in their faith.

It is completely normal to wonder and to present your questions (or frustrations) to God. It does not make Him love you any less nor does it make Him revoke the price He paid for your health and wholeness. Rather, He is glad we are seeking Him for these answers and not giving up or running to something else.

What I Do Know

There are so many things we don’t know about this life or even about God. Therefore, we have to stand on what we do know.

Healing can be confusing, but we know God is not the author of confusion.

We don’t know what it takes to be healed, but we do know it comes from Him.

We don’t know why Jesus heals some yet not others, but we do know He was wounded for all.

We also know that God hasn’t always healed in the same way. Sometimes, it was instant (like many of Jesus’ miracles). Sometimes, it wasn’t (like in the story of Naaman). Sometimes, it was even indirect (King Hezekiah’s prescription for medicine). He has healed many (the ten lepers), and He has healed only one out of many (the Pool of Bethesda).

We don’t know why God does what He does, but we do know He can do anything.

Jesus Heals

So what does it take to be officially, finally, completely, and wholly healed? I don’t know. But I do know Jesus knows, and Jesus heals. And that’s enough for me.