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Eight Survival Tips for the Isolated, by the Isolated
I have to say, this time of quarantine has honestly not been so bad. Because for the most part, nothing for me has changed. February 2018, I became too sick to continue going to work. By March, I no longer even had a vehicle. It was just me and my baby home every day all day. And that’s how it’s been nearly every day for the past two years. Now given, I was often too sick to even get out of bed. And yes, many days I had someone there to help me. But it never changed the fact that we were always home and rarely venturing out. So when…
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Depression
⊗ Trigger Warning: This following post contains sensitive material about depression and suicidal thoughts. Please proceed with caution. ⊗ Sometimes I feel brave enough to say it. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I feel empowered. I feel stronger. I feel a purpose. And then sometimes I feel nothing but shame. A woman once said not everything has to be shared. I had hoped this could be one of those things. But not everything that is needed to be said is easy to be said. This is that. It has been little over a year since I overcame the very lowest part of my life. But I’m not talking about depression alone.…
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What Are You Afraid Of?
It’s funny. I was the child always terrified of going to the doctor. I was the one who built up major anxiety over visiting the dentist or hospital for a checkup. Who would have thought I would one day have no choice but to overcome my fears. While I thought pregnancy had cleared me of most fear and humility, I was quickly proven wrong. Although both my epidural and blood patch had caused little pain, I was beyond terrified when it came to getting my first spinal tap. As symptoms progressed that summer of 2017, I knew the inevitable was coming, and no amount of mental prepping could relieve my…
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Labeled Disabled
Recently, I received some wonderful news. I have officially been declared disabled. Wait, what? Come on. Let’s talk about what nobody wants to talk about. Disability. Everything about it seems to scream caution. Judgement. Legalities. Who really wants to be disabled? Who really wants to be limited by what their body can or cannot do? It just doesn’t make sense to speak disability upon yourself at the same time you’re claiming healing. But to some, it’s an answered prayer. My Story It took a year from my epidural for my health to spiral out of control. But I still remained too proud to admit that my body was not what…
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Where to Begin
Want to know a secret? I was supposed to launch this outreach a long time ago. It began in the hospital one February night in 2018. While one could argue it was the high dose of IV steroids I had just received, I knew it was something greater. God was speaking to me, and words were pouring into my heart and overflowing faster than I could get them out. I needed to write. I needed to share these words with the rest of the world. But how? When? Where would I even start? I soon saw that none of that mattered. All that was important was that God had begun…
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Tearing Down the Strongholds of Addiction
Ever since I was a child, I watched my brother struggle with a terrible drug addiction. I watched him in and out of jails and rehabs my whole life as I prayed for his freedom. When I was 18 years old, he was found dead in his apartment. This year makes ten years since I lost my brother. Addiction was not a stranger to my life. As sheltered as I was, my parents couldn’t keep me from knowing that four of my six siblings fell into its grasp. I saw it destroy their lives. I saw it change who they were, change their appearance and alter their personalities. I couldn’t…
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In Sickness & In Health
Do you know the scenes in movies where the person is being rushed through the hospital, and their loved one arrives just in time to find them? This is the exact image of what I remember in between my neurologist visit and passing out in the wheelchair on the way to the ER. My husband was there right when I needed him most. I might have been half conscious from the pain, but I will never forget how much love and concern he showed me through those days in the hospital. His support in helping me breathe and cope with every increase of pressure was enough to make me think…
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The Broken Body
Do you remember when your body broke? I do. Thursday, January 26, 2017. 9:30 am. It was the day I had my first child. It was the moment I had the epidural that went too far. Sure, that’s a common occurrence. Countless women experience it. The needle penetrates too far into the dura that surrounds the spinal cord and causes spinal fluid to leak out from around your brain. Excruciating headaches ensue. Sometimes the body heals itself before the new mother even notices. Other times, the skull crushing pain lingers for weeks or even months afterwards. The good news is doctors can fix this. All they have to do is…
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“But You Don’t Look Sick.”
Do I look sick to you? Odds are I don’t. But I am living with an invisible illness. I am living with chronic pain. Do you know what unusual mentality comes along with being chronically ill? Paranoia. “But you don’t look sick.” Is a phrase so commonly used among the sick that we begin to question it ourselves. What if it is all in my head? What if it’s really not so bad? What if I could hold a job right now? What if I really didn’t need to cancel plans today? Maybe I’m not that sick after all. How can I be if I don’t look it? I even…
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Postpartum Headaches & Backpain… Sound Familiar?
Had a baby and now experiencing symptoms you’ve never felt before? Believe me when I say there are a lot more women like you than you think! In January 2017, I gave birth to my first child. I had been healthy for 25 years prior. My pregnancy was uncomplicated and full term. My labor and delivery were brief and easy. But I didn’t know until four days later that there had been an accident with the epidural. While still in the hospital, I began experiencing headaches, something I had never dealt with much before. Upon arriving home, they were so excruciating, I couldn’t even think straight. My gynecologist instructed me…
